I feel disconnected and isolated.
Like many of you, the Think Tank team has been working from home in quarantine. Days are full of Zoom calls, kids’ school work, consuming COVID-19 media and doing the best to stay positive during this challenging time. We have a network of partners across the country from small grassroots organizations, statewide initiatives, churches, universities and health care institutions. I have had the privilege of staying connected to a variety of professionals who are working hard to help during the pandemic. I listen to the voices of helpers from coast to coast.
Yesterday, I left a Zoom call with a heavy heart and mind. The call was with a team of our trainers who work for a healthcare system in the epicenter of the pandemic. Initially, I was excited to see so many familiar faces as they started to turn on their webcams. One of the trainers is a nurse in the ICU. Her video square popped up on my screen as she was removing her medical gear. I watched as she removed her mask and ripped the bandages off her face that prevents bruising from the constant wear of protective gear. My heart sank. I felt uncomfortable. I did not know what to say. This is my friend, my colleague, this is Natalie working on the front lines. This is someone who I am connected to. Natalie is making life or death decisions and intentionally serving others despite the risk. All the media messages about healthcare workers became real in that very moment.
I know the worsening coronavirus epidemic in the U.S. has upended the country’s medical system. It has led to system-wide disruptions. I also know the courage and service of healthcare workers across the nation mean so much to so many at this time. Those of us who are not on the front lines are not able to fully understand what this virus means, but those few minutes on the Zoom call gave me a new sense of empathy— greater understanding.
I invited folks to contribute a writing for our blog at the end of our call, in an attempt to share their lived experience with others. The next morning this message from Natalie was in my inbox:
Recently, there was a very difficult day in the ICU when we lost 3 patients in a row to COVID-19. As you can imagine, this was a very heartbreaking moment for the families as well as the staff. Since that day, the words “open the window” have constantly been playing in my mind. Ask any nurse or healthcare worker what “open the window” means to them and you will see their faces fall. I never write poetry! But this is what I wrote about “open the window.”
Open the Window
I look at you and I know
Your heart rate is becoming very slowI grab the code cart
And start to pound on your heartPushing medications…
Gasping in frustration!
Oh I can feel the dedication!!We can’t lose you…
Your family is counting on us!
We lose you again, we cussThe call must be made
To rest you will be laidOpen the window
You are now free
You are at peace now
Let your soul be.
Natalie’s words transport us into the raw physical, emotional and spiritual side of how the pandemic is impacting so many precious people, including her.
I feel gratitude to have a relationship with Natalie, to have the privilege to get a glimpse into her reality. Now more than ever we must cherish the relationships and connections we have with one another. We must take every opportunity to learn from those with lived experience. Whether it is a single mom who is now homeschooling and doing her best to make ends meet, a college student who had to abruptly return home and forgo graduation, or a nurse who is working on the front lines saving lives. We all are experiencing our own level of poverty during this time and we need each other.
All that has transpired the past several weeks reminds me of Mr. Rogers, an ambassador of kindness and empathy. It was Mr. Rogers who famously said, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping’.”
I believe that this pandemic could pull the best out of all of us. Compassion, connection, and love will make us stronger.
Take a moment right now and look for the helpers in your life. Appreciate them… they need it now more than ever. Because when looking for the helpers, we realize that even in a world where many of us feel isolated and disconnected, we are nonetheless surrounded by them.
Heather Cunningham is Think Tank’s National Training Director. To learn more about Think Tank’s work, visit thinktank-inc.org.
Photo by Fateme Alaie for Unsplash.